One Last Promise (A Bedford Falls Novel Book 2) Page 15

  “Naming your breasts is so—”

  “Hollywood? Yeah, but remember how in eighth grade Frank Farrigamo had a thing for me, but I didn’t feel the same way? Then all of a sudden he wouldn’t even look in my direction?”

  “Yeah, it’s because you told him that you weren’t interested.”

  “No, it’s because I referred to the Boobsey twins as Gertrude and Myrtle.”

  Marisa drew in a deep breath and put a hand over her mouth. “You mean it wasn’t just a rumor? It was actually true?”

  Kelsey, upon discovering that a boy finally had a crush on her – beyond the harmless grade school kind – at first felt attractive and special by the attention, but after a while, Frank’s longing stares became uncomfortable and finally…embarrassing. Since he wrote love notes to her each day and slipped them between the grate in her locker and left roses on her desk each Monday before she arrived in science class, she felt incredibly guilty for not liking him.

  Other kids noticed his unabashed affection and ridiculed him in a roundabout way – they encouraged Frank, stating that Kelsey liked him but her parents wouldn’t allow her to date until she hit high school. Kelsey felt horrible; if it weren’t for her, half the eighth grade class wouldn’t have made fun of him. She couldn’t bear the thought of rejecting him, not after so many kids had applauded his unwavering devotion.

  So one day in the hall while rushing from one class to another, she attempted to sidestep him only to inadvertently chest-bump him. Shocked and humiliated that her small and sensitive breasts (at this point they had finally begun filling out, even if they still looked like pebbles) had hardened at the abrasive contact, leading Frank to ogle her chest.

  Kelsey turned red instantly. Without thinking, she shoved him and said, “Look where you’re going, you fairy-fucker!” Watching his face fall, now that the object of his affection had referred to him as a homosexual (in a very politically incorrect way, no less, which she still regretted because she actually had a very close closeted gay male friend at that time), she tried to make up for it by apologizing.

  And when he rushed away with tears streaming down his face, Kelsey tried to think of a way to build up his confidence, so she laid her heart on the line by saying, “I’m really sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it, but that really hurt, Frank. It’s…sensitive there, okay?” At that moment, she felt like a whining wimp, which reminded her of the character “Moaning Myrtle” from the Harry Potter books. That name gave her an idea: if she made herself appear hideous enough, Frank might find her unattractive while also giving him reason to regain some confidence. So she said, “Myrtle and…Gertrude aren’t exactly visible, so I can’t blame you for not seeing them.” Frank raised his eyes wide as though he’d heard way too much personal information. Then he backed away and scampered off to class.

  It turned out that Frank did gain a great deal of confidence from that incident. He told everybody in school how Kelsey referred to her breasts as Myrtle and Gertrude – not that he planned to punish her for rejecting him. She believed that he mentioned it out of surprise and confusion. But within hours, she overheard the rumors, which she vehemently denied (after all, she would never have given those names to someone she liked!)

  And since Frank no longer held any interest in her, girls who were neither popular nor unpopular now considered him halfway desirable. It gave him an edge in gaining the attention of those who wouldn’t otherwise give him a few moments of their time.

  Marisa now cringed at the names. “Reminds me of ninety-year-old women.” Then her expression soured. “We’ll be there one day: sagging flesh, brittle bones, taking baby steps wherever we go. One day, we’ll be checking out hot twenty-something guys, only to realize that we’re looking at them through a pair of bifocals. Hmm. You know who reminds me of Frank?”

  “No. Who?”

  “Paul.”

  Kelsey rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. You’re exaggerating.”

  “I’m not saying he writes you love notes and leaves you roses. But I think he’s kind of passive-aggressive.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Paul just seems like he’ll be kind one moment then a few seconds later, he’ll make some kind of remark that you think is harmless. But when you think about it, you realize he put you down.”

  “Example?”

  “I wish I could give you one, but I’m drawing a blank. It’s just the perception I get when I see him.”

  “You know I’m all for constructive criticism, but I can’t go on a feeling you get.”

  “Okay, remember how Frank turned on you? That’s how I feel about Paul. I get the sense that they’re a lot alike.”

  “You’re comparing a kid to a man. I don’t really see a parallel.”

  “I’m just saying you weren’t into Frank. And I don’t really think you’re into Paul, but you’re giving him all you’ve got. And I don’t think you should try that hard to like someone. In middle school, you trusted your instincts about Frank. And look how that turned out. But enough about Paul. What about Damon?”

  “What about him?” Kelsey asked, unwilling to voice her attraction to him, not because she didn’t want to hear how Marisa felt about him (she desperately wanted to get her friend’s take on him), but because she didn’t want to admit out loud that she found him incredibly sexy. Once those words left her mouth, she might have to also admit that he might not be so bad.

  “Damon seems more your type than Paul.”

  Kelsey’s heart quickened. She couldn’t tell by Marisa’s matter-of-fact tone if she felt one way or another about him. “Why do you say that?”

  “Come on, I saw the way you looked at him. You had that look in your eyes. You and Damon have crazy chemistry. I felt it a few seats away from you. Hell, I’m sure everyone, including your parents, felt the electricity in the air. And the way he looks at you…wow! He just reeled you in so easily. Just…blammo!”

  Kelsey couldn’t deny the effect those passionate, clear blue eyes had on her. Even looking in the opposite direction, her peripheral vision picked up a few instances where he’d focused on her. Those eyes reminded her of Paul Newman’s expressive gaze in the movies. As the years passed, Newman may have lost his taut physique, but those eyes didn’t age. Even at eighty years old, they held the same potency of his youth. And Damon’s eyes had the same quality.

  “And I could feel you fighting it,” Marisa said, “by trying not to look his way. But even though you looked somewhere else, you still tilted your head in his direction. It was like your body wouldn’t let you ignore him. That should tell you something.”

  Kelsey had no idea she’d reacted that way.

  “I can’t say I blame you. Jesus, did you see the way he walked across the living room? The way he owned the room? Each stride so in control? He’s…trouble.” After a moment of silence, a smile appeared on Marisa’s lips, private thoughts obviously drifting through her mind.

  “What? What are you thinking?”

  “Alex is like that now, too.” Her smile grew. “Damon sure worked wonders on him. The things Alex does with his hands…”

  Wincing, Kelsey plugged her ears with her hands. “Subject change please.”

  “I’m just saying that if Damon can teach another man to…well, just imagine what he could do with his own hands.”

  She knew what her friend meant: Damon looked great on the surface, but underneath, he had no interest in a long-term relationship, which meant trouble. Regardless, a few times over the past couple weeks while alone in bed, Kelsey let her imagination run wild, wondering what Damon would be like if he actually wanted to have a girlfriend.

  She’d spent considerable time imagining how Damon would touch her. She now realized that his eyes had the same attentive, adventurous quality. At the dinner table, as she’d averted her attention, she felt his gaze linger on her face, on her neck, on her breasts…okay, she couldn’t exactly tell that he’d studied those body parts, but it sure felt like that. It
explained why she could look away yet couldn’t ignore his hold on her.

  “Why did he leave the dinner table? And why did you go after him?”

  “I think his dog is getting old, and Damon is having a tough time with it.” Recalling how Damon referred to Max as “Mad Max,” not to mention other nicknames brought a smile to her face. “He just moved back here, and I don’t think he has any friends – other than Alex. He just seems like he needed somebody to talk to.”

  “And didn’t he bring a date? Remember Cassandra? You were sitting right across from her. It looked weird, and felt even more awkward, that you didn’t let her go after him.”

  Kelsey couldn’t argue with that statement. Had she gone after Damon because she felt threatened by Cassandra? After all, why would Damon want her when he had Cassandra? Kelsey couldn’t compete with a young, innocent-looking woman with cute nose freckles and thick hair that tangled around her head in curls like she’d just spent the evening in the throes of passion. How could she compare to her purity, her fresh-faced beauty, and naiveté? Men took wicked pleasure in sullying that image, and she presumed Damon would lead the pack, if given the opportunity.

  “I think he brought Cassandra to make you jealous,” Marisa said.

  Well, it worked. Although Damon hadn’t displayed much affection towards Cassandra…there weren’t wistful smiles, cute compliments, or even bickering. Still, Kelsey watched him place a palm over her hand without the least bit of hesitation. It appeared as if he’d done the same thing a hundred times. Which told Kelsey that either Damon’s acting ability exceeded his writing talent or that he felt comfortable bestowing tender gestures upon those he dated.

  “What makes you think he wants to make me jealous?” she asked.

  “He came to see me the day after you two met at Forever and Always.”

  “Really? What for?”

  “He said I was judging him...without knowing him.”

  “And. Did you?”

  “Yes.” She refused to meet Kelsey’s eyes. “I feel bad about that.” She paused. “I’m just trying to look out for you.”

  Both touched and nervous by that comment, Kelsey laughed, surprised by the lengths Damon had gone to get her to go out with him. His efforts made a warm feeling take up residence in her heart. Why would a man expend that much energy on one woman when he could get practically any woman he wanted? She considered the idea that perhaps he’d seen something unique in her, something that every other woman lacked. But she dismissed the idea as far-fetched. A man like Damon had too many options. He only wanted her because she hadn’t fallen for him. The moment she gave in, Damon would disappear. She’d encountered that phenomenon often enough to know not to give in once again. And no matter how compelling she found him, Kelsey would not betray her better judgment.

  Marisa’s phone rang. “Oh, it’s Lauren. Just give me a second.” She answered the phone.

  Nevertheless, Kelsey wanted to betray her better judgment. She wanted to give in to Damon. She wanted to remember how good it felt when a man put a protective arm around her shoulders, wanted to remember the excitement of hearing the phone ring and wondering if that special someone waited on the other end of the line, wanted to remember what it felt like for a man to get lose in her eyes.

  Of course, when she tried hard enough, Kelsey could trigger these affections in the form of hazy memories from broken relationships (both ignored and adored). But it became a tedious experiment, one where past failures brought harsh and bittersweet moments to life and muted her frame of mind because no matter how many great times swept through her head, in the end, those relationships had died.

  But she refused to focus on the past. No matter how briefly those images flashed across her mind, after banishing the recollections to a hidden corner of her subconscious, she couldn’t help but feel glum. Those relationships reflected lost time; time burnt by men who either didn’t know if they wanted to settle down or who had no intention of doing so. So when those events flickered in her brain, she immediately directed her thoughts elsewhere.

  Yet, didn’t this perspective personify Damon Durant? But what about all of the romantic notions he’d explored in his novels? And how they touched her so deeply? How could someone so emotionally closed off write with such depth of feeling, with such longing – if he didn’t experience it firsthand? That had to prove that Damon wasn’t the player that her brother swore he was…right?

  “Well,” Marisa said with a heavy sigh, after ending her phone conversation, “Lauren’s out for next weekend.” She didn’t attempt to hide her disappointment as she headed toward her car up ahead. “I don’t want to rush you into something you’re not ready for, but you and Paul are welcome to come along with me and Alex. It would give you a bunch of time with him to figure out what he means to you.” She stepped up to her Ford Focus before leaning over to give Kelsey a hug. When she pulled away, Marisa looked at her, baffled. “Are you okay?”

  Kelsey did her best to smile and nod, and she hoped her friend believed the lie.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “Thanks again for dinner,” Kelsey said, hugging her mother, while watching her father load dishes into the dishwasher. The embrace should have drudged up a level of intimacy with her mother, but instead, Kelsey felt uneasy. She was ready to step away, but her mom held tight, forcing Kelsey to back out of their embrace. Her mother usually clung to her longer than expected, and she assumed it stemmed from regret or guilt or…

  “I really like Paul,” her mother said, grinning.

  Kelsey analyzed that enormous smile, the largest one she’d directed at her daughter in at least five years. A wave of heat hit her. She hadn’t seen such joy in her mother’s eyes…since before Kelsey hit puberty. “Why?”

  “Honey, he’s wonderful. Just the type of man you need.”

  That comment tugged at her the wrong way. How would her mother know what she needed? Had she ever bothered to ask? No. She’d assumed. Kelsey got the impression that, although her mom loved and supported her dad very much, her mother sometimes wondered what her life would have been like if they hadn’t gotten married. However, she had never done or said anything to verify Kelsey’s suspicions.

  But just as Alex and their mother shared a bond that went beyond words, so was Kelsey’s relationship with her father. She knew without asking that he, too, questioned his wife’s commitment to spend an eternity with him.

  More than anything, Kelsey wanted to avoid that fate. When she entered her next relationship, she didn’t want to second-guess herself, which explained why she wanted to know why her mother thought highly of Paul when Kelsey, of course, couldn’t quite put her finger on why she didn’t trust him. “You talked with him for a few minutes. How could he be so wonderful?”

  “He’s a gentleman, for one. I could tell he treats women with respect.”

  The unspoken told her what she already knew: the men in Kelsey’s past hadn’t always treated her with the respect she deserved, which always made her question whether she gave too much in a relationship without asking for the same amount in return. But while she didn’t appreciate her mother bringing up the poor choices she’d made in her past, she couldn’t refute her accuracy.

  “And helping me with the dishes?” her mom said.

  “I always offer to –”

  “But how often do men do that?”

  “Dad did today.”

  Her mother flashed a kind-hearted smiled. “Yes, he did. And that’s the respect and thoughtfulness I’m talking about. Paul had a kindness about him.”

  Kelsey didn’t want to mention that Paul probably just wanted to make a good impression. She guessed that being married for thirty-five years would make plenty of people forget what it felt like to date, especially her mother, who met her future husband in high school. Not to mention that dating had changed a lot since then. Nonetheless, a marriage that lasted for that long came with its own trials and tribulations, so Kelsey wouldn’t overlook any advice or wisdom her mot
her dispensed.

  “What else?” Kelsey asked, eager for some insight she could connect with. “What about Paul makes him a good guy?”

  “Isn’t that enough?”

  Kelsey stared at her mother, feeling let down.

  “What? You’ve only been on a few dates. And like you said, I’ve only talked with him for a few minutes.”

  She nodded, uncertain why she expected more wisdom. But then, although she didn’t have the deep relationship with her mother that she’d always wanted, Kelsey never understood why she always expected more from a woman who never gave her what she needed. “Okay, well, I guess I’m heading out.”

  “Bye, honey,” her father called out from the kitchen. “It’s good to see you outside of your restaurants.” Then he returned his attention back to the dishwasher.

  She hadn’t anticipated the insinuation that she lived at her businesses. Her father only wanted to remind her that her family missed her, and she appreciated his words of affection. Kelsey just wished she had more time to give to them…and to her friends…and to her love life. His statement made her reconsider her decision to take up Alex and Marisa on their offer to visit the Dells. She just hoped she liked Paul a little more during that trip. If she didn’t, she would want to get away from their…getaway.

  * * *

  “Of course, I’ll go,” Damon said a couple days later while talking with Alex. He’d just posted a release date for his latest book on Facebook, and within the past few minutes, he’d already garnered plenty of supportive comments from readers. “The Dells sounds like fun.” He couldn’t help but wonder if Kelsey planned on going as well.

  “It’s in a pretty huge cabin, and Kelsey’s bringing Paul, so we’d all be together for the entire weekend. Think you could keep your hands off Paul that long?”

  “You make it sound like I’m gay.”

  “Don’t be a dick.”

  “There you go again. If you’re thinking of coming out anytime soon, I’d still be there for you, bro.”