One Last Promise (A Bedford Falls Novel Book 2) Read online

  Did his readers confuse the characters he’d created with…him? Did that explain why they selected that nickname? Is that why so many women enjoyed sending him flirtatious emails?

  He’d assumed that their melodramatic emails indicated that he was simply an extension of his male characters – a man who needed to learn the errors of his ways before finding love. He’d always played along and never considered that his readers regarded him as the equivalent of his male protagonists. The possibility that his readers, people he’d regarded as long-distance friends, pen pals even, regarded him with such distaste was humiliating. Sure, he might have only communicated with a small percentage of his readers, but he cherished that reader-writer bond. Through his novels, they knew him better than anyone else on this planet.

  And to think that they considered him a charlatan when it came to matters of the heart not only disturbed him but disheartened him as well. He felt let down. Had the relationship he’d cultivated with his readers over the years been one-sided? Did they truly feel that he’d lied to them about his personality and integrity?

  Any personal information readers found online may have dissuaded them from reading his novels. His book sales, which allowed for a comfortable lifestyle, told another story: readers found his novels witty and romantic. But the idea that they regarded him as a phony rattled his confidence. He’d spent years building his reputation, and the possibility that readers might regard any one-sided rumors as truth appalled him.

  “You didn’t know?” Paul asked with a cocky grin. “So many women posted so many negative viewpoints.” He let out a full-throated laugh. “You’ve got a lot of reading ahead of you.”

  Damon felt so dejected and powerless to those remarks that it took all of his strength to keep from dropping to the ground.

  Paul met his gaze with a challenging stare. “We’re more alike than you want to believe.”

  At any other time, Damon would have laughed at that ridiculous statement, but part of him felt guilty for leaving behind a trail of women who expected more from him. Still, if none of them were The One, didn’t he act responsibly by breaking things off instead of leading them on or using them? Regardless, he feared there might be some semblance of truth to Paul’s comment.

  As if sensing Damon’s helplessness, Paul stepped closer and laughed in his face, then turned around and headed for the stairs.

  He presumed that Paul’s speech, which sounded so passionate that even Damon suspected it might be heartfelt and genuine, had convinced Kelsey that Paul was an old soul with a deep sense of honor. No matter how hard he tried, Damon couldn’t get a grasp of Paul’s true nature. At various times, he had appeared innocent, helpful, ignorant, kind, well-spoken, stupid, crass, and pretentious. Therefore, Damon couldn’t blame Kelsey for having a difficult time trying to pinpoint his true personality.

  But Paul had admitted to leading Kelsey on and boasting about it. If he was stupid, he would have unintentionally revealed his intentions by now, but since that hadn’t happened Damon supposed that Paul had a lot of practice at lying. And by all accounts, he excelled at bending the truth. Damon needed to uncover his intentions. Either that or Kelsey had to get a firm grasp of Paul’s character.

  “In the car, Paul was so intense,” Marisa said, “for maybe a minute. And then he hardly said another word the next three hours. Probably because Damon was using his dog to make Paul look stupid.”

  Damon, so wrapped up in the new knowledge he’d discovered, didn’t even realize Marisa had spoken until a short time later when the ensuing silence stretched on way too long. Piecing together what she’d said, he looked up.

  The three women turned as one toward Damon. Cassandra sneaked in a fleeting smile before manifesting indifference.

  And as much as he didn’t want to find out how Kelsey perceived him, Damon turned his gaze upon her.

  She narrowed her eyes and tightened her lips.

  Almost like she puckered them for a kiss. Some of the darkness in his mind cleared. How could it not when he imagined kissing her? But…no, wait! On second thought, she didn’t appear flirtatious. Far from it. More like—if she could send heat vision from her eyes like Superman—she would incinerate him. And that discriminatory glare made it seem as if she’d gathered up and consumed all of the resentment the women he’d dated apparently had spewed out about him on the Internet. And he couldn’t envision Kelsey that way. He wouldn’t let her tarnish the impression she’d made upon him.

  For that reason, he spun around, whipped open the front door, and stepped outside. He pulled out his smartphone, plugged his name into the Google search bar and hit enter. The first page listed entries for his website and past blog posts, his Facebook as well as Twitter and Goodreads accounts. On the second page, he found several links to his novels at various distributors like Amazon and Barnes & Noble. On the third page, however…

  Paul hadn’t exaggerated. From that page on through the next couple, he found blog testimonials about past relationships. Stunned, the only way he could tear his eyes away from the screen was by thinking about his first (and most passionate) romantic relationship, the one where he gave his heart to Katrina Eldrige during his freshman year at Southern Illinois University. A beautiful brunette full of enthusiasm and optimism, she pushed herself to extraordinary lengths to experience new adventures and test her comfort zone. This sometimes meant drag racing in the city streets, training for the Ironman triathlon, (which consisted of swimming, bicycling, and running great distances within seventeen hours), or writing, producing, and directing a handful of journalistic pieces as evidence of her professional skills, so that when she graduated, she could use them as a stepping stone to becoming the most accomplished female anchor to ever grace a television screen.

  Damon admired her drive, indomitable spirit, and desire to push herself to succeed in anything she put her mind to. In the eight months they dated, Katrina introduced him to the concept of true love: giving your all to another person. For Damon, who up until meeting Katrina had been reluctant to share even a smidgen of himself due to his short-lived past with “family dynamics,” the possibilities for future happiness were boundless. Katrina’s optimism and enthusiasm felt like that first hint of spring after a long cold winter and, for the first time, Damon allowed himself to open up and share himself without worrying about being hurt or taken advantage of.

  He took part in many of her intellectual and physical pursuits, even when he preferred not to, because it afforded him an opportunity to meet new people and discover whether his perspective that other people were greedy, selfish, and unconcerned about others outside of their sphere of influence had any merit. And to his relief, he discovered that most people were honest and willing to help those in need, rather than beat them down, as he’d experienced. Although Katrina’s activities exhausted him, Damon went along with them to placate her.

  But as the weeks turned to months, he learned that since Katrina spent so much time discovering the world and her place in it, she had no interest in slowing down to enjoy the little things in life: a relaxing afternoon picnic at the park, cuddling on the sofa while watching a movie, or even window shopping. Although they always enjoyed spending time together, this conflict in how they lived life became their downfall. As Katrina continued to take part in various activities, either unwilling or unable to turn down any given invitation, Damon slowed down and became clingy and moody.

  Just before spring break, he suggested they spend their week off in Chicago, but Katrina stated that she’d already agreed to take a biking trip from Carbondale, Illinois to Nashville, Tennessee. That she hadn’t even told him of her plans led to an argument with Katrina declaring that Damon held her back and that their relationship made her feel claustrophobic and left her unsatisfied.

  A few moments later, she hugged him and admitted that she’d treasured their time together but that she didn’t see a future with him. Within a five-minute span, Damon had gone from ebullient, expecting to spend a week with th
e woman he loved, to upset. A heated argument finally led to the moment she walked out of his life. And that ray of hope, that beacon of light that had encouraged him to trust another person with his secrets and dreams, burned out.

  After going through a long period of depression, Damon examined his behavior from a more analytical standpoint, one that drew conclusions based on his actions. He learned that women lost interest in a man that acted too needy, didn’t stand up for his feelings and desires, and didn’t feel comfortable in his own skin. That learning curve led to an overhaul on how he related to women and what he wanted in a relationship.

  Behind him, the cabin door slammed.

  As if caught stealing, he curled inward, reluctant to disclose what Paige had revealed.

  “What did you say to Paul?” Kelsey asked from behind him. “I know you don’t like him, but you shouldn’t be so antagonistic.”

  Damon shook his head. Just what he needed: more criticism, especially regarding comments he made about someone like Paul. On second thought, if so many women found Damon’s behavior dishonorable, maybe they raised a valid argument. Maybe what appeared obvious to so many women slipped his mind because he failed to scrutinize his conduct from a non-biased perspective. Maybe he needed a little outside objectivity to set him in the right direction. After all, if one person made that announcement, others might overlook her statement. But if a group of women were all saying the same thing, maybe he needed to shut up and listen to what they had to say.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Kelsey had never seen Damon look so…dejected. She hadn’t expected to witness that mindset from a man whose confidence never wavered. What brought about such a quick mood change? Then again, if three people bore down on her with negative comments and harsh expressions, she too would re-examine her actions.

  Damon glanced her way, but he didn’t lift his gaze to hers. “Paul deserved it. And a lot more than that, believe me.”

  Unable to determine why he felt that way, Kelsey looked into his lap and saw his phone, but he must have sensed her wandering eyes: he turned off the phone and placed it on the other side of his body, indicating that he didn’t want prying eyes to discover what he’d been viewing. That mysterious element, in tandem with his downcast expression, only increased her interest in whatever bothered him.

  “Why did he deserve it?”

  Damon chuckled without humor. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

  Kelsey recognized a little animosity directed toward her, and although he obviously thought it better to keep his knowledge about Paul private, she wanted to find out what he meant. “Try me.”

  He opened his mouth and took in a breath, looking eager to express himself, but then reconsidered and shut his mouth. He re-aligned the phone on the porch floorboards, pushing it a little further away from him – and her.

  “Just tell me. It can’t be that difficult.”

  “How many dates have you two gone on?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “Then I guess we’re at a stalemate. Besides, you know Paul better than I do. And most women are better at decoding social cues and interpreting language than men, so I’m sure you’ll find out on your own. You don’t need me prying into your private life.” He re-aligned the phone on the porch floorboards, pushing it a little further away from him – and her.

  Even though she was incredibly curious to find out what Damon alluded to, Kelsey tramped down on the anxiety clutching her. And since he looked determined to stay quiet, if she pestered him for answers, she might never get him to open up.

  For that reason, she was also concentrated on why Damon placed his phone just out of reach. That little movement was telling, so she decided to start there. “Did you just find out some bad news?”

  He looked up at her with the same weary expression that Max had revealed while walking the aisle in PetSmart. But then, just as Max spotted her and the light in his eyes took on a newfound vibrancy, Damon’s overcast manner lifted and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He turned his attention to the scene ahead: a pair of enormous Evergreens flanking them and the long-winding rocky road leading up to the cabin.

  She couldn’t quite explain why, but Kelsey really wanted to uncover what bothered him. “Sometimes it’s easier to talk about it…instead of keeping it to yourself.”

  “Unload my problems on you? I wouldn’t do that.”

  “I prefer the term ‘sharing,’ but you’re right: if you’re going to ‘unload’ a bunch of dirty laundry on me—”

  Damon placed a hand over his phone. “Did you ever have someone exaggerate to such an extent that it hurt your reputation?”

  “Everybody has. It’s called life.”

  He nodded, mulling over those remarks.

  She waited a long moment and said, “What’s wrong, Damon?”

  “I’m two different people: the person others think I am, and the person I know I am.”

  “It sounds like you’re pretty certain those other people are wrong. If you feel that way, why do you let them get under your skin?”

  Without hesitation, he turned and looked into her eyes. “Because that’s how you see me.”

  He was afraid to elaborate, lest he misspoke or she misunderstood what he wanted to convey, so he expressed his feelings through his gaze. The intensity of that stare and his unabashed desire to trust her with whatever he sought to share made her feel like a confidant who didn’t quite deserve the honor. The yearning in his eyes made her recall how strongly she’d identified with the heroines in his novels: how they sought romance the way a flame needed air to continue burning.

  In that instant, without even one word crossing Damon’s lips, Kelsey knew that her brother had misconstrued the way Damon viewed romance. And it confirmed that Damon believed every word he’d written in those novels – that living without passion, without connecting with another person in the deepest way imaginable, led to a lonely existence. And Kelsey suspected that she picked up on this longing because she sought that same connection.

  His stare deepened, demanding that she let him into her soul, refusing to take no for an answer. And because she’d always wanted to feel the weight and depth of that connection, Kelsey met his gaze, excited by the experience. No man had ever bothered to really look at her, to see her talents and flaws. Of course, they had gotten to know her – likes and dislikes, pet peeves and habits, but no man had ever wanted to feel the essence of her soul. It felt exhilarating, like she’d stepped onto an exotic beach that she’d only seen in photographs.

  At the same time, another aspect of her consciousness pulled at her to look away from him, to hide how much she wanted a man in her life, to hide all of the self-doubt and insecurity that she always concealed with a firm voice and an unrepentant glare. She didn’t want to release these truths, fearing that they’d be used against her. And yet, she couldn’t look away. Something in his eyes almost pleaded with her to trust him, seemed to say if she looked away, he would underplay the incident. It was more likely that he would then pretend as though the last few moments had never occurred, and the same trouble-free persona he wore like a cloak would return.

  Damon, as if sensing that he’d gotten through to her, flinched as if shaken by this unspoken bond, revealing a greater degree of vulnerability than he intended to share. Breaking eye contact, he furrowed his brow in uncertainty and fright, and then opened his mouth to speak. But then his gaze fell upon the cell phone in his hand, and darkness flooded his face, as though the instrument he held carried lies and…the truth.

  “Tell me,” she said, finding her voice.

  He stared at the phone as if it held the capacity for evil. “Not a good idea. It would make it seem like this…” He looked up at her again. “Had never happened. And I can’t…” He shook his head slowly.

  She wanted to tell him that, no matter what he entrusted her with, she would never betray his confidence. Some people needed to believe in someone before revealing their
feelings, but Kelsey had always acted on impulse, rather than instinct, and more often than not shared her thoughts or feelings with another. This time, she wanted to do what came naturally: tell Damon that she understood his reluctance, and that she would disclose something personal to encourage him to do likewise.

  But before she uttered one word, Damon shot to his feet with the fluidity of a gymnast. “Forgot to get Max’s food.” He slapped his hands together to remove the dust from his palms as he headed toward the Ford Explorer. “I’ve entered him in the Hundred & Hungry Dog Competition.”

  “What’s that?” Kelsey asked, thrown off by the change of subject.

  He opened the Explorer’s lift gate, hefted the bag of food over his right shoulder, then shut the gate and headed back toward the cabin. “Sort of like a hot dog eating contest…but for dogs.”

  “Really?” Shocked and concerned that Max might not be up to the severity of that type of physical exertion, Kelsey got to her feet and said, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not? He likes to eat. And it’s a free contest. It’s a win-win.”

  She couldn’t believe his nonchalance. “It’s reckless. It’s cruel. It’s—”

  He walked past her and up the porch steps but spun back to face her, looking in her eyes again. This time, he radiated an endearing familiarity that he would have concealed in the past. “It was just a joke.” A luminous smile appeared on his face. Then he turned around, opened the door, and stepped into the cabin. The door shut behind him.